Concerns about the kids

The girls are over for the weekend and have been a real handful. My youngest is clingy and my oldest is hell on wheels. She has been quite abrasive and argumentative. I am at a loss as to how to give them structure, discipline, fun and love all in the span of four days. It is definitely challenging. Even though this part is difficult, it feels so good just to have my kids with me and to feel something close to 'normal'. There is a large hole in our family now that my wife and I are separated. It is difficult to feel complete and like a nuclear family when we do things together. Now 'all of us' is just three when it was always four only a few weeks ago. My oldest is so angry. She needs to be able to express her feelings before the anger turns inward and possibly leads to depression. Not sure how we are going to handle things but something must be done.

I asked our third-party contact to get an answer from my wife about how the kids were told about the separation, the injunction and the inevitable divorce. What was spoken to them and what were their questions? Did they cry? Were they surprised? Given all the harsh words spoken so casually over the recent months I have to think they weren't all that surprised in some ways. Still, there is nothing more shocking than to be informed that everything is now different and there will be no turning back. That is huge. I deserve to know what was said. It is unconscionable that I was not included in the discussion but how can I honestly be surprised? God giveth and my wife taketh away.